I was chanting AUM together with the man seated opposite me while he settled into a trance. As the chants tapered off into slow, deep nasal breaths, I wondered which spirit entity would embody the man. Would it be my friend Sun Bear? Or perhaps my master teacher John?
I was completely unprepared for the feminine voice and presence who introduced herself as Maryam. I had never before experienced such a presence which alone, apart from the words she spoke, moved me fully into my heart. I was overcome with such intense emotion that rivers of tears quietly flowed from my eyes down my face and onto my shirt, for more than a half-hour. By the time the session had ended, the front of my shirt was completely soaked.
I now understood why she is revered and adored by so many. Until that moment I only knew of her as an historical figure, and had been puzzled by what had seemed like unwarranted emphasis placed on her by the religious institution of my youth, the Church of Rome. I may have even tried to pray specifically to her as instructed by various nuns and priests, but without apparent result — no surprise in retrospect considering the quality of my prayer in those days. I eventually drifted away from that religion, feeling troubled by its dark side, and leaving the puzzle unresolved.
But now, most unexpectedly, I had come full circle. I was speechless in Maryam's presence but not because I was intimidated, for her calmness and gentleness were disarming. Fortunately I did not have to speak just yet. As was customary with other spirits I had interacted with through the medium, she began with a monologue.
Maryam stated that her name was never Mary and that she had been a Jew and had loved her faith. Her son Jeshua was a rabbi of the highest order, universal in his teachings, who did not intend to create a religion in his name; that was the doing of Paul more than any other, and Paul never met Jeshua. She stated that although many have been saved because of that religion, there have been unintended consequences which she attributed to Jeshua putting too much attention on his own person. He has since been laboring to correct misinterpretations and misunderstandings of his teachings through such works as A Course in Miracles.
She explained that he was motivated to offer himself as a sacrifice because that is what the people of their day demanded. For centuries they had conducted ritual sacrifices to appease their image of a strict and vengeful God. Jeshua taught of a loving and merciful God and said to his people: I will be the last sacrifice. Sacrifice no more. Instead, love one another.
Because of this many people believe that Jeshua, by his sacrifice, has redeemed them in the eyes of God. This only reinforces the belief that they are inherently unworthy and therefore require someone worthy enough to intercede on their behalf with God. Who could be more worthy than God’s only Son, a sinless and flawless being? The erroneous notion of original sin, whenever it has taken hold, has been exploited by those who wish to dominate and enslave. We are all Children of God and as such are infinitely worthy.
Another consequence of Jeshua's well-intended gesture was to cast a pall of guilt over the many who believe they are responsible for his suffering on the cross. I know of one such woman who believes she was present in the crowd at Jeshua’s feet. In her current life, she still bears the burden on her soul that it was because of her sins that he suffered so. After all, this is the teaching that Christian religions have promulgated for two millenia, that Christ died to atone for our sins, which would otherwise condemn us. But the people had been misled into condemning themselves. Jeshua thought he could free them from self-condemnation but for many, his gesture only reinforced their mistaken belief.
Jeshua’s miraculous abilities seemed to set him apart from ordinary people. That he emphasized his own person led to the misunderstanding that he was the only son of God, the implication being that the rest of us are not also children of God, each endowed with a divine essence. Jeshua's approach was to demonstrate his divinity through miraculous acts, saying to his witnesses: See what I can do? You can do this too! But they could not accept the latter. They had been taught that to claim divinity was blasphemy. Although Jeshua was careful to describe himself as the Son of Man, in the end, when asked, he acknowledged that he was also the Son of God. The religious authorities had him put to death for that offense, as Jeshua knew they would.
Maryam mentioned that the collective of consciousness to which she belongs, which includes Jeshua, John and Sun Bear among many others, has also delivered other books to humanity besides A Course in Miracles to assist in its awakening. She gave as an example the Twelve Step program. Then she asked me to read two other books. One was The Urantia Book, which she stated was a joint creation of the mass consciousness of humanity together with spirit. It is not necessarily the truth as it exists, but rather is intended to induce an opening in consciousness. Indeed, it had that effect on me. Not all 2097 pages, but certain passages within are veritable treasures for seekers. The other book was Right Use of Will, which she said would be hard to find. There is no other book like it but it is best not to read it until one is ready for serious inner work. Not to be read casually.
Having read these books at Maryam's request, I doubt I will read them fully again although I still reflect on certain passages that have stayed with me. For example, one of my favorites is:
Balance is the cardinal rule of magic. — Right Use of Will
Among many gems in the Urantia Book are the sections about the problem of evil and about the faithfulness of the Mystery Monitors. The only book I have read again and again, because it elevates my being like no other, is The Lord of the Rings. I wouldn't be surprised if it was also inspired by Maryam’s collective.
Decades ago, I had already read The Lord of the Rings twenty times, then stopped counting. There is much to say about this book, but what is relevant here is that there is no other literary character I’m aware of who so nearly resembles my impression of Maryam than the Lady Galadriel. I would not be surprised if Tolkien based Galadriel on a dream or vision of Maryam and expressed his feelings about her through the words of his character Gimli who, so enamoured was he by Galadriel’s majesty, fairness, gentleness and kindness that he boldly and yet courteously asked for a strand of her golden hair to be set in imperishable crystal to be an heirloom of his house and a pledge of goodwill between the Mountain and the Wood until the end of days. Tolkien made Galadriel one of the most powerful beings in Middle Earth, the mightiest among Elves, and did so, it seems to me, without compromising her femininity. Galadriel was not posing as a man in a man's world; her power was inherent in her being, tempered and tested by long ages of experience, some of it heart-rending.
The only person I know of now alive in our world with a presence and power comparable to Maryam’s, is Anastasia. I have not met her — very few have, for she is a recluse — but to me she is real. I sense her presence from afar.
If only people understood that the power of being, which the feminine principle is aligned with more so than the masculine, precedes and exceeds the power of doing. The Bright Day that is coming will be distinguished by the primacy of feminine being, with masculine doing in service to it. Doings not in service to being lose meaning and tend to go awry.
Maryam then made the statement that all possibilities already exist in potential form and advised me to come to peace with that. I believe that she must have conveyed much the same notion to Paul McCartney when she came to him:
When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me Speaking words of wisdom, "Let it be" And in my hour of darkness, she is standing right in front of me Speaking words of wisdom, "Let it be" And when the brokenhearted people living in the world agree There will be an answer, let it be For though they may be parted, there is still a chance that they will see There will be an answer, let it be And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me Shine on 'til tomorrow, let it be I wake up to the sound of music, Mother Mary comes to me Speaking words of wisdom, "Let it be"
I believe that the phrase “let it be” has more significance in this context than the usual “leave it alone.” Yes, it implies acceptance, allowance and tolerance of circumstance. But it also shifts emphasis from doing to being. Let being change the circumstance, let the greater Being of which each individual is a facet run the show: Let go, let God. Let it Be. Intend rather than contend. Manifest rather than manipulate.
Maryam then said that she is not connected directly to me the way that John is, but made a request on behalf of someone she is close to. I continue to honor her request, 25 years later and will do so as long as I live. She said that later in life I would become reclusive and write, and that has come to pass.
Over two years later, I was once again sitting across from the trance medium when Jeshua greeted me. He had come before but with his essence blended with John's so that I could not distinguish their separate presences. But now Jeshua was speaking for himself. He struck me as very intense, nevertheless he made me feel comfortable, as if two old friends were catching up.
He talked about his travels to India where he learned a form of wrestling, something akin to judo, and encouraged me to practice a martial art, but not in a dojo where no woman could be present. He stressed the importance of harmonizing one's body with one's being.
Jeshua also assured me that whatever difficulties I was going through, whatever challenges I faced, he and other spirits, who had also walked similar paths, loved and supported me. I, in turn, would have an opportunity to help those following in my steps. That is how it works: the journey is infinite and there is always someone ahead to show the way and always someone behind to lend a hand to.
I get by with a little help from my friends — The Beatles
Jeshua then emphasized these words: walking the line between the light and the dark shall ever be the journey. He spoke with authority. Another great spirit named Ambrosia had previously said that when Jeshua died the Spirit of Divinity said to him: Now go back and undo what you have done. Ambrosia loves Jeshua and has a powerful union with him. He said this about all of us, including Jeshua and himself: the mixture of light and dark makes a beautiful being. I now felt this way about Jeshua as he sat before me: No mask, no false persona, just an authentic being, great yet humble, still doing the best he knows how, even helping one such as me. I couldn't help but love him.
I mentioned to Jeshua that I had read his book A Course in Miracles and its sequel Journey Beyond Words and that I understood his essential message to be that of oneness. He immediately interrupted: And you are able to explain this concept to others. And so I have.
My impression of A Course in Miracles is that it skillfully convinces the mind of its own limitations, so that one's mind stops spinning and comes to rest, so that self is re-identified primarily as a feeling-being, a presence, rather than a hyperactive self-important doer driven by self-reflective thoughts. Let us journey beyond words, beyond thoughts, beyond doings into the heart of being, where Maryam, Jeshua and John, Ambrosia and Sun Bear, reside.
Metaphysical Musings #8
Leaf by Niggle, yesssss. precious, it is.
that whole book of lost tales was overall excellent.
I also enjoyed the fictional stores I've read by CS Lewis. not enough into religion to have read his writings on that. Ursula LeGuin's Earthsea books remind me of Lewis's Narnia series and are also excellent.
side topics away from the evils of modern politics and society provide a good brain break and reality check.
somewhat off topic to most of this article, but you did bring up enjoying Tolkien.
even better than the Lord of the Rings is The Silmarillion (also by Tolkien.) It's a full history of Middle Earth, which also explains many of the stories and songs in the Ring saga as well as Gandalf's history to some extent. The whole hobbit escapade takes up a couple of paragraphs at the end of the Silmarillion.
It's a great read.